


The Upside of Being Alive

by BabyBat (demonprincess7)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Blood, Dubious Consent, Gunplay, M/M, PWP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-25
Updated: 2014-10-25
Packaged: 2018-02-22 12:36:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2508059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demonprincess7/pseuds/BabyBat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean gets angry and his gun ends up where it doesn't belong.<br/>minor spoilers for 9x13</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Upside of Being Alive

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [this prompt](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1118221/chapters/2379751) by [callmeb](http://archiveofourown.org/users/callmeb/pseuds/callmeb) and [oddfront](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Oddfront/pseuds/Oddfront)
> 
> I feel like I'm missing a few tags. Just let me know if you think something else should be there.

“Please tell me, what is the upside of me being alive?”

Sam saw the hostility in Dean's gaze and he knew he'd said the wrong thing. He shouldn't have said it at all. He shouldn't even have thought it, but it was there inside his head and it was only out of habit that he released it from his mouth and into the air.

“You kidding me?” There was nothing calm in Dean's voice. Dean stood up to look his brother in the eye. “Why is it you're so ready to die? You're _so damn ready_ why not just end it right now? You want me to let you die so damn bad?” Sam hadn't noticed Dean's gun when he walked into the room but he sure as hell saw it once it was pointed at his chest. The rest of Dean was so tense it was practically shaking, but his gun arm was steady. “Why don't I end it for you?”

“Dean?”

Dean prowled toward his brother until Sam's back hit the wall. He pressed the tip of the gun so hard into Sam's chest he knew it would leave a bruise right over his heart.

Sam put his hands against the wall and softened his eyes, trying his best to look non threatening as he tried to calm his brother down. “That's not what I meant. I don't want you to kill me, Dean. Just... put the gun down. Come on.” He didn't mean for Dean to take it so seriously and he just wished he'd put the gun down and let him explain.

Dean's vision had gone red and he could hardly hear Sam's voice over the pounding in his ears. He looked at brother who's all wide eyed and tense. His mouth hanging open as he gasps. He can't stop thinking about his brother, his baby brother, who doesn't want to be with him anymore, doesn't want to be his brother anymore. He wants to be away from Dean so bad he's ready to just die.

“Shut up!” Dean growled. He jabbed the gun against Sam's mouth hard enough to force it between his lips and behind his teeth. Damn those lips, soft and pink and wrapped around his gun like it was a cock. There was something he meant to say but it was long gone as all the blood from his head rushed to his groin. Instead he growled, “Suck it.” Rage and fear running through him like a drug.

Sam groaned. He never thought he could be so turned on by something so dangerous, but his cock didn't seem to care that the gun in his mouth was loaded and the hand holding it there was attached to a man who was far from thinking clearly, but it was Dean and that made it safe. He started sucking on the tip of the gun hoping his brother would see how crazy this was and and back off. He had his lips wrapped around a gun for God's sake. The same gun that had blown holes in monsters and had his back through the thick of it and it was in his mouth.

Dean's hips were suddenly pressed against Sam's, grinding his hard cock against his brother's. Neither of them could seem to get enough oxygen. They were both shaking and panting and turned on.

Dean pulled the gun from Sam's mouth and spun him around shoving him roughly into the wall. His arm pressed against Sam's back to hold him in place. 

He was practically out of body as he watched the gun in his hand run down Sam's side, across his ass cheek, and down the crevice of his ass. That gun kept rubbing against the back of Sam's jeans as Dean growled in his ear.

“You hate being here so much? I'm not worth living for? Huh? Is that what it is?”

Sam was shaking, but he couldn't even think about pulling away. Even though Dean was furious, even though Dean was in pain, Dean would never pull that trigger, but Sam couldn't help feel like he earned this. He deserved it. He'd driven his brother to this scaring him and hurting him and Dean was gonna hurt him right back. He pressed back against Dean, against the gun, his legs slid apart giving Dean all the room he needed to work through whatever this was.

“D-dean,” Sam said, unsure if he meant 'stop' or 'please' or 'more'. 

Dean snaked his arm around his waist to tear at the buckle on Sam's belt. He worked his jeans open and shoved them down along with his boxers. He pressed the tip of the gun right up against Sam's taint.

“This what you want, Sam?” Dean asked as he pushed the gun against his brother's hole forcing it just inside making Sam whimper. “You want my gun? This what makes you feel good, Sammy? Being right there on the edge of death? I could kill you right now faster than you could blink and you fucking love that don't you? You could die right here on my gun, right now,” he growled. "That what you want?"

" _Dean_ ," Sam gasped. 

He started pressing harder, the gun slowly forced it's way into Sam's ass only Sam's spit for lube and he moaned for it, low and dirty sending electric pulses right to Dean's cock. Dean kept pushing, hard and slow, until it was as far as he could get it. Sam was panting and his ass burned, but his cock was dripping even where it was pressed up against the hard wall.

Dean was mesmerized by the sight of cold metal disappearing inside of Sam's body. His dick was straining against his zipper, but he couldn't stop the cold fury that put them there in the first place. He jerked the gun right out of Sam's ass and Sam _yelled_. He started fucking the gun in and out of Sam's body hard and rough and fast. Sam moaned and whimpered and shook. His cock was leaking and he could feel it running down his thigh.

“You fucking love this don't you?” Dean growled in his ear. “My gun tearing into your ass. One wrong move Sammy and it's game over.”

The whimpers and groans that came from Sam's throat were quite possibly the dirtiest thing Dean had ever heard and it just inspired him to drive that gun harder and faster. He angled the gun just right and it ground across Sam's prostate on every upstroke.

Just when Sam thought he was going to pass out from hyperventilation, he came screaming Dean's name.

Dean snapped out of the aggression that had possessed him and he took a step back, gun still in his hand. His eyes fell on his brothers tore up hole and the blood staining his ass. Dean runs a hand over his face and swears under his breath. He snatches the bottle of Jack Daniels off the counter and was out the door before the guilt had completely settled in his stomach.

When Sam finally caught his breath, he turned around. He leaned heavily against the wall. The pain finally registered and it was gonna hurt like hell for a long while. The Impala rumbled in the distance. Sam knew Dean was long gone. Leaving him covered in blood, sweat, and cum with a cold empty feeling in his chest.

**Author's Note:**

> [Follow my writing blog](http://babybatscreations.tumblr.com/) on tumblr


End file.
